It's been more than a year.
I'm not anything close to a relationship expert. But there's a few things, while single, I've been able to pick up on.
And it makes me think people have no fucking clue what they're doing.
Because no one really knows and that cluster fuck is doubled when paired with someone in a monogamous relationship. Which, by the way, seems to be something, more and more, that is meant for survival and not really meant to sustain "love."
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1. Why are people in relationships always making their partners do things they don't want to do?
The person who you "love" should already know what's important to you and what's not. They should pick up these things already.
Who the fuck wants to be 30 and is that person who feels the need to tell their sig other to pick up their socks everyday. What insignificant crap, but this is half of the type of stuff people worry about. You decided to get in bed (and prolong this) with someone who doesn't like to pick up their socks. Fucking. Get. Over. It.
If you need to force your partner to do something, maybe they're not the one for you. God! What a waste of energy you could be spending on someone who actually makes you happy or better yet, something you actually enjoy for YOURSELF. Maybe you're fitting them into a mold for YOU. Not meant for them.
2. When you're in a couple, why is that person always your "default hangout person?" Like if you don't have any other plans, then it's assumed you'll hangout. That's goddamn stressful. And really takes some of the pizzazz out of it.
3. Why are most couples boring? Like, you're not even vanilla-flavored bland. You're actually the flavor of drywall. I think sometimes it's because each person is so focused (ok, ok obsessed) with what the other person is thinking/feeling they neglect to actually have fun.
4. I get that you're an "item," but it doesn't mean I have to hangout with both of you when all I really want to do is hangout with the person who's actually my friend.
Then there's the flipside when the sig other is actually cooler than your friend -- not to mention if you're a crazy bitch, and the guy is more level-headed. I'm sorry. I probably now have more in common with him.
5. I'm sorry that 1. you're a girl and 2. you're probably boring. I know how to talk to people. I know how to find common interests. I'm probably going to find some common interest or bring up some topic to talk about with your boyfriend. People shouldn't get jealous over this, because we don't want to fuck your sig other (well maybe sometimes?? ha) we're just having a chat. Though, you should really focus on sucking less instead of being overprotective (though sucking more and being overprotective is a little more attractive).
6. Fucking disgusting when you ask a person who's in a couple a question and they respond using the pronoun "we." It's like -- do you sit down every night over pasta and decide collectively what you both like and dislike together.
7. Oh, what's that? Now that you're single you can hangout again and want to have fun?
8. Why are people under 27 even getting married? This super odd to me. In fact. I don't understand. You want to settle down? What could you have possibly already done singularly and learned from befor you're 30? A lot? Oh. Well. That... seems premature. And what is the rush on having babies. First off. What? Second off, do you want to build up any financial security before you have your thrid "little angel?" That seems more "responsible" than pumping out mini-me's because you forgot to use a conDAMN. Believe it or not, life is not sequential. There is no timeline. Shit happens when it happens. But more LIKELY, shit happens when you're ready for it. Maybe some people are ready to get married at 22. There just seems like no reason for it because marriage is in no way synonymous with love.
9. You complain about your sig other incessantly yet you won't leave them? THIS IS STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now, not only are you wasting your own time, you're wasting my precious time.
So many people are wasting energy with others who make them semi-content because they're too terrified that they might not meet someone who loves them as much as the other person. To be loved starts to mean nothing when you can't love back. Open yourself up. Be uncomfortable. Be scared.
The safe route is a life of regret and a handful of pennies.
10. Real love done fucked you up. Most of you just settle.
11. Am I in love? I don't know. Maybe I don't want to know. I find it hard to love someone I want to keep in my life. Maybe it's because I never think it through enough before delving in to "what I want." In retrospect, getting what you want isn't always spectacular when your thoughts of want are underdeveloped and underestimated.
Perhaps you're unhappy because you were too scared to wait for what you actually wanted. Perhaps you're happy because you do know what you want, and you got it. Perhaps we're all too stupid to figure out this one seemingly simple idea. What I know is that happiness doesn't appear in the form of another person, it's a combination, a code we're trying to crack our whole lives. And now it feels like the more information and experience we take in before we die, the closer we are to that combination.
