a mechanism

A problem is not a problem if it involves any technology that was invented in the past 20 years.

That's called an inconvienience.

Your car breaks: that's a problem.

Your phone breaks: that's an inconvienience.


It's a little disease the way our brains are transforming into machines not to be tasked by anything difficult, rather, a mechanism to sit and wait.

Wait and sit.

Stand and sit, wait
Run and sit, wait

Sleep and wait.


waiting for it to happen
waiting for it to happen til we're dead
i cant wait, i can only plot more lovingly, precisely, especially


i like men who take middle stances on politics, but mostly on beer.

i turned 26 and started the love affair with life.

when you struggle like that, i will only love you more.


i liked you when i found out how fucked up you are; an endearing tick to a touch so alarmingly good. But I want you in instances and in ideas. ideas cut from cardboard cereal boxes like 10 cent boxtops, always collecting them, never remembering what the hell they're for but they add up, never the less.

by choosing many, chose none

Master of none.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2YiUTh9dj4
*this is music,

Regret nothing; live forever

Where's your fucking ammunition because we don't need gun control

were craving societal overhaul

explicit, illicit its too late to wait for the complicit

this shit issss red hot

im talkin the sun looks down and says damn thats fyrrrrrr hot

like we're sitting alone peering out from open books at the library, but are sharing the same desire hottttt

cuz we live by the phrases lesser people die by

cuz if we slow down, the we might actually have to try, iiii think its such a static endeavor compared to the delight of a continual group think tank machine

amalgamated by a united internal rivalry between

the good and the bad we all read about but never live

kisses we often contemplate, fewer give

how can we live out our dreams the themes we talk about in cinema class we talk alotta shit but they make me feel bad like im actually sorry 

cuz we can stop but we don't talk about that, it cuz if we stop i don't want to know what comes after

we bleed out love because hate just got too easy

and how do i say baby im your whore tonight without being sleazy

 it's all in the wrists, i guess\because some would call this type of life a mess

but don't talk to me like you know, hell i can barely converse without my maple syrup syllables sticking to my throat until i cough them up in some flurry of a conversation hoping they stick and drip down mythically enough for some parcel of someone's comprehension

Because

When you get that call, they say every thing stands still. 

Freeze frames like dream sequences, but there's no slow wake up, no gradual coming to

You're here. You're there. You're here. and then there.

days more like strobe light exchanges and words are 

chopped like breathing vocal cords into a running box fan.

There's a silence before the world changes

it exists pure but violent

the instant before a tidal wave turns

i know not regrets, but realizations

so

when the steady hand of mortality comes again

i've already witnessed the exchange rate 

it isn't a congruent currency

because time is no longer money

money is time foolishly gambled away

betting on a horse race of one

it circles the track, we spit on our palms and rub them together for good luck.

american

sad little american, 

your pocket watch stops 

and laughs at your silver-plated sorrows. 

profoundly, 

almost proudly,

superficial.

half images

anticipation
a tree sap slip, slow

if i could just see your face
and know
and be done with the whole fucking idea.

a want romanticized by it's very inception
stop.

like whiteout, let's write this one sloppily
underthought
and
sickly

unhealthy parts to unhealthy plans
CLIMAX THIS STACCATO

cuz baby,
you highlighted me and stripped me of my brightness

i wrote: "this is what it must be like"

Ah, ah, the falsities are a plain, white piece of paper
motionless
though unmistakable for anything but what it's true function is:
forever waiting for contents.


i just beg to see you and
take in numbness
like my organs were already extracted, held in a hyperbaric chamber
stand still
exposed film
the photos were taken
they're physicality almost tangible
but the
reel is empty
and the images only exist when both of us come together
and remember
but by now
im smart enough
not to.

bodies enabled

the crazy runs especially deep at this second.

---

Watch you like I watch semi truck passing into the next lane

But the reaction is the silence of a tidal wave on the incline,

A phase ive lost the guts

When we fuck, we’re drunk and done

When we fuck we’re drunk and down and

Our minds disabled, our bodies enabled

There’s no flow

Do I even enjoy it

It’s not pain

Its closer

Magnified the depths

And suddenly it’s the grand canyon

and the walls are crumbling

pebbles, NOT BOULDERS

PEBBLES not boulders

And we cant fucking believe

At this rate we’re here until space blacks out like they always said it would

The black

Out an attack out

Kill it while it still breathes

Your blood

I don’t even want it

Because it’s yours

I want it

Because it’s not mine. 

800mg

fuck, i only want things i don't have to care about

if this is so obvious

why does it still happen

we laugh about our weaknesses

in car rides

in winter

and kiss 

tongue to tongue

under jokes, that are actually funny.

the precipitations cover everything 

lightly, temporarily

and i'm in my 20s and can barely bend my elbow all the way back

and this 800mg ibuprofen perscrip won't do shit for this

because you know

they don't give you the good stuff

unless you've earned it

with mild fuckups and drowsy rhetoric

let me take this chance

to say nothing

it's better than

calling eachother

by the names

we no longer think about

but hate

just the same.